Crazy Love, Chapter 4.

Just like the rest of the chapters I've read so far, this chapter was loaded with good stuff!

Chan spends the majority of this chapter, 13 pages to be exact, delving into "The Profile of the Lukewarm". And boy was it convicting! He would make a statement about what lukewarm people are like and then back it up with one to several scripture verses of the truth. What a great way to get your point across. I highly respect anyone who can argue a point that's rooted in the truth of the Word.

One of the points I really appreciated was when he writes, "Lukewarm people rarely share their faith with their neighbors, coworkers, or friends. They do not want to be rejected, nor do they want to make people uncomfortable by talking about private issues like religion." He then quotes Matthew 10:32-33, "Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven."

I am reminded of the times where I don't speak boldly the gospel of Jesus Christ. Of the times where I think of sharing my faith, but don't. When I think of encouraging someone by scripture, but refrain because of the uncertainty for how it will be received. When any of this happens I feel ashamed.

These occurrances have become fewer as I have been working on speaking out to family, friends, coworkers, etc. I never feel "uneasy" about sharing with fellow believers, but it took some work to reach out to others whose faith I was unsure of. I think this stems from me being a primarily introverted person and not speaking out to others in general. This has definitely changed as I've grown and matured and I'm glad for it. I've noticed several times at work alone where I have been able to encourage someone by speaking the truth to them.

Whether they are saved or not, I have no idea. But by not saying something I could be missing the opportunity to "plant a seed", as they say.

Another part that really hit home for me was on pages 73-74. Chan writes, "Lukewarm people love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves. Their love of others is typically focused on those who love them in return, like family, friends, and other people they know and connect with. There is little love left over for those who cannot love them back, much less for those who intentionally slight them, whose kids are better athletes than theirs, or with whom conversations are awkward or uncomfortable. Their love is highly conditional and very selective, and generally comes with strings attached."

He then backs up his point again with scripture. "You have hear that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? (Matt. 5:43-47).

I remember when I bible quizzed with my friends Karen and Melissa one year when we were in high school. It was on the gospel of Luke and I remember the same excerpts from Luke's gospel. It's natural to love those who are good to you. And to be able to be nice to those who are nice to you in return. There's nothing exceptional about anyone who does these things.

The hard part is learning to be nice to those who aren't nice to you in return. And to love those who are indifferent or don't love you.

As believers, we are to love others as Christ has loved us. (John 13:34-35). On paper it's an easy concept, but practical application proves to be more difficult. Our sinful nature gives us the desire to treat others as they treat us, whether it be good or bad. To get even with someone who hurts us. And to push away or disregard anyone we don't like so that we don't have to deal with them.

Our sermons on Sunday and the bible study we attend on Tuesday nights has been hitting on points like these, as well as praying for others. At first thought, I didn't really think I had that many people in my life that this applied to. But after looking beyond a few frustrating coworkers and family members, I realized that there are more people I can pray for or be nice to instead of ignoring them. I've started to put this into practice and have been seeing some awesome results.

A miraculous thing happens when you begin to pray for someone you don't like. God works in your heart which is really the goal of it all to begin with. One Tuesday night we even had a written prayer to fill out for someone, which was an eye opening experience if you really put effort into it. Instead of praying for someone to change their thoughts actions, I pray for God's will to be done and for me to be able to show them Christ-like love in any opportunity that comes about.

Instead of trying to change their heart, through prayer God changes mine.

I'll conclude with an excerpt from page 80. "This profile of the lukewarm is not an all-inclusive definition of what it means to be a Christian, nor is it intended to be used as ammunition to judge your fellow believers' salvation. Instead, as 2 Corinthians 13:5 says, it is a call to "examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves." We are all messed-up human beings, and no one is totally immune to the behaviors described in the previous examples. However, there is a difference between a life that is characterized by these sorts of mentalities and habits and a life that is in the process of being radically transformed.

Crazy Love, Chapter 3.

On pages 53-54, Chan writes, "Most of us, to some degree, have a difficult time understanding, believing, or accepting God's absolute and unlimited love for us. The reasons we don't receive, trust, or see His love vary from one person to the next, but we all miss out because of it."

I think there is great truth to this statement simply because we are finite beings with limited perspectives. We'll never be able to fully understand God's infinite character and being. There have been times in my life that I've felt like God could never really love me. Just because my sinful nature would seem so overwhelming. Even in my best of times, I don't think I'm able to understand/accept God's absolute and unlimited love for me. It just doesn't feel "right". It seems unbalanced or unfair that I am able to mess up and sin daily yet God unconditionally loves me. Yet when I confess my sins to Him, He immediately forgives me and casts my sins as far as the east is from the west.

Romans 8:29 says, "Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." That's a very comforting verse, especially when it feels as if God is so far away. That I've done something where I'm just kicking myself and feeling so low. He loves me still. He loves me always. No matter what. And He wants me to love Him. He constantly draws me close to Him.

I try to think of why I can't fully understand, believe, or accept God's love. And something that keeps surfacing in my mind is because I am different from God. Can one ever fully understand someone who is different than them? I don't think so. I think that there is great opportunity to bridge the gap of differences, but to always fully understand isn't possible. At least not in my opinion.

It's because I am programmed to think, feel, and act a certain way. And someone who is different from me won't think, feel, and act in those same ways. In this instance, God is so much more merciful than I could ever hope to be. Although He is a just God, He doesn't not feel vengeful when someone wrongs Him and then admits their faults. I know sometimes I can feel vengeful though. I think one of my main struggles in life is wrestling with feelings of anger when I feel someone has wronged me or someone I deeply care about.

Although light has been shed on this dark area of my life and I've been working at getting better. Where once I would harbor ill feelings in my heart and have a hard time forgiving, I am now able to forgive and not harbor those feelings. Sometimes I know and feel that I'm not quite ready to forgive someone so I won't tell them I forgive them until I truly do. This is something that has really helped me. Instead of feeling a pressure to forgive, I am able to pray about it and truly forgive to the point of not harboring those ill feelings, even if something similar happens again. I think of 1 Corinthians 13: 5 where it is written that love keeps no record of wrongs. I think women tend to do this more than men, but it is something I've been genuinely working on.

It's not always easy to believe God's love either. When times are tough and it feels as though things are going wrong, it's quite easy to begin to doubt God's love. The lies of Satan come crashing in. When I feel as though God isn't answering my prayers, I can feel two ways. 1-I can feel as if God doesn't love me or 2-I can trust Him. This has been a big improvement in my life.

When I don't understand something, I try to immediately recall Proverbs 3:5-6. When I pray about a situation and seemingly it's not being answered, I trust the Lord. I trust His love for me and that He never has plans to harm me. It's a lot easier to not be upset about things in my life with this either. I have a lot of family related issues and lately I have been feeling the burden of guilt, the grips of anger, and the pain that surely comes this side of Heaven, being lifted and loosened. It has been years in the making, but I am slowly coming to feel a peace about it all.

And that only happens with trusting the Lord.

Crazy Love, Chapter 2.

I feel like the beginning of this chapter was written specifically for me.

Especially page 42: "Worry implies that we don't quite trust the God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace towards others, or our tight grip of control. Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional.".

WOW-that really hits home for me!

When I start to become worried or stressed, Philippians 4:6 often comes to mind: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." This has only been a semi-recent development within the last year or so. I've been actively seeking to continuously surrender my worries to God. I even made a frame with this verse in it and hung it over our bed. But I don't think I'll ever be able to fully live out this verse.

Occasionally I've been able to pray instead of worry. Sometimes, by God's grace, I'm able to not be anxious. But never in everything. And that's only half the verse!

I haven't even mentioned the fact that nearly never have I been thankful for things that cause me to worry or be stressed. Sure, I could fake it and thank God for allowing such and such to happen. But do I mean it? Do I really mean it? Probably not. Lord-willing, maybe someday I'll reach the height of maturity where I can truly be thankful about those sort of things. For now, I'll continue to work on it.

And now this verse is coupled with page 42 in my mind. The grave reality that comes with worrying. The implication that my God is not enough. Whether it be big enough, powerful enough, or caring enough. Do I really think this? Consciously-no. Subconsciously? Absolutely. Otherwise, I would not worry. Yet I continually let this poisoned idea slip into my head. And it can quickly control my thoughts and before I know it I'm spiraling downhill into a sea of anxiety and worry. Which ultimately can lead to more stress in my life. I really need to work on this. I know that God is bigger than anything I can think or see in my own life. I know that God certainly does care enough for me. I am finite. God is infinite. My vision is limited and understanding is limited. God is omniscient. It seems so easy to choose to trust Him. To give control of my anxieties over to an all-knowing and infinite God. Yet I continue to struggle.

The battle rages on.

And stress. There is nothing that can excuse me from sinning and not trusting God. My situations and the stuff in my life does not justify this. But how often do I get caught up in the "stuff" in my life and forget about God? Too often. How often do I get caught up in what is going on with me that I am rude to others or neglect friendships or family? Again, too often. I don't intentionally choose these actions or thoughts, but I also don't intentionally choose to surrender.

And therein lies the problem. Now it's just a matter of surrendering control of my life to God before the anxieties of life take control over me.

Chan's other main point was being ready to die. Ready in the sense that you have saving faith and know that when you die, you'll go to Heaven. I have this blessed assurance, but I know countless people who don't. And what am I doing about this? Sadly, very little. This is also a "work-in-progress" area of my life. I can't control whether or not a person chooses to make Jesus their savior. But when God presents opportunities in my life, I can pray and ask Him to control my words and actions. It's not that I hide or reject my faith, it's just that I need to be more open about sharing it. There has been growth in this area with some of my coworkers, which I'm thankful for. But I know there is so much growth still to take place.

Crazy Love, Chapter 1.

I like how Francis Chan gives several examples of the complexity and details of life with the 280 muscles in a caterpillars head, our own bodies, etc. This helped give me a deeper understanding to how awesome God really is. Like Chan said, He didn't have to make up so many kinds of laughter, but He did. Why? Because He is God! God put special care and detail into everything He created. In my mind, that speaks to the character of God and who He really is. He made each of His children in His own image and cared about each of us enough to design us to His perfect specifications. Whether we have blond hair or we're a brunette. Whether we have freckles or not. Even though we all have things we don't like about ourselves physically, God created us to be exactly what He desired.

Page 28: "I sometimes struggle with how to properly respond to God's magnitude in a world bent on ignoring and merely tolerating him." This quote really caught my attention because it's so true.

The world we live is not one focused on praising and worshipping God the way we should.

The way God wants us to. I'm guilty of this myself. Every day. I can't count the number of days that I've lived where I just wake up, focused on my own agenda and then squeeze God in where I can. It happens way more often that I'd care to admit. And the truly sad part of it is that after I've done the minimal I can, squeezing a few pages of reading or a few minutes of prayer in between what I have planned, the truly sad part is I feel like I've done ok. Not always. There are times where I actually recognize I need to be doing more, but often I just go on about my day and don't think twice.

When I compare this to the days where I wake up and am focused on God and continue to refocus on Him throughout the day, I can see the difference in myself, my home and my entire life.

So why don't I always wake up and get focused?

Too many distractions. Not that this is an excuse, but there are so many things that distract me. Even before I open my eyes in the morning I can be in a bad mood. Whether it be because it's too early, too cold out, my cat slept on my head half the night, I can easily wake up and entirely miss everything good about the day. As simple as being able to wake up. Being given another day to live. Being healthy and having a loving husband wake up beside me. Being able to drive to work with my husband, having a car to drive and a job to go to. None of this even enters my mind sometimes.

Like Chan says on page 29: "Most of us know that we are supposed to love and fear God; that we are supposed to read our Bibles and pray so that we can get to know Him better; that we are supposed to worship Him with our lives. But actually living it out is challenging."

I also liked where Chan wrote about a few of the different characteristics of God...

God is holy. God is eternal. God is all-knowing. God is all-powerful. God is fair and just.

My favorite explanation came under "God is eternal" on pages 31-32 where Chan writes, "Not being able to fully understand God is frustrating, but it is ridiculous for us to think that we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending. What a stunted, insignificant god that would be!"

It can't get any truer than that.

But how often do we try to fit God into a box that we understand? Too often. We question and wrestle with things that have happened in our lives and immediately try to shrink God. We don't understand why He would allow good people to go to hell. Even though He clearly lays out the only way to the Father is through Jesus (John 14:6). So instead of acknowledging that God is who He says He is, we struggle with understanding it. This is where faith should kick in. We will never understanding all who God is or all that happens to us.

This is why Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." It doesn't say in everything you understand acknowledge Him, but in all your ways. Even, and especially when we don't understand.

God is the creator of the universe and who are we to question Him? He owes us nothing, but we owe Him everything. I often find myself in situations I don't understand and admittedly don't agree with, but lately I've been getting a lot better at not trying to figure things out, but rather looking for what God might be trying to teach me. Often it is just the complexity of the simple lesson of trust.

Trusting Him.